Be

This summer we took the wee peeps for our inaugural rock climbing outing. despite the savageness of the mosquitoes, it was a perfect summer morning.

Notch climbed first. He struggled some, of course. climbing up the face of a mountain wearing a harness and tied into a rope comes with natural fear. fear is challenging. i reckon it is the MOST challenging thing we face.

he stuck with it. he asked to come down a few times, but then recollected himself with his breath – on his own. after some time, he made it to the top of the route where the bolts were placed. he sat down on a ledge and looked out. i was down on the ground, connected to him through the rope. I could not see him but i could most certainly feel his energy.

he shouted down “I’m feeling weally happy. i’m just gonna sit up here and be happy for a minute, okay guys?!”

i’m pretty certain i wrote about that before – it seemed profound even at the time. but these past few weeks, i’ve found myself reflecting on it again.

this winter has shaped itself in a fashion that i couldn’t predict. I’ve been super duper antsy for adventure. i’ve been dreaming of the next pursuit without knowing clearly what it even is. i’ve been wanting, instead of being.

i forgot to remember that i am LIVING my adventure.

went for a x-country ski the other night. under the shine, and on top of the reflection, of the Wyoming winter blanket of stars. the crescent moon had a few hours before it rose above Elkhart Ridge, so it was just us and the dark and the winking-blinking universe.

and a pack of frenzied wolves.

we skied uphill and chattered and chatted and got caught up on six months of life. the new logging road was our turn-around spot. once we arrived up there in the clearing, we both got quiet (for the first time). we both heard the far-off yips of a couple coyotes, coming from back behind us. she questioned the difference between a coyote sound and a wolf sound. before i could explain, the chilling and haunting and powerful sound of a wolf came surfing through the windless air. it was followed by another, equally as magnificent. suddenly the rest of the pack joined in. they were not peacefully howling. the sounds of the barks and the snarles was clearly aggressive and induced legitimate fear in both of us. we had two dogs and bear spray with us. this was adventure. this was my normal Saturday night.

we skied swiftly. by the time we got back down to the valley floor, we could no longer hear the wolves. back to the silence of a moonless winter night.

on monday, i saw six moose on my way to town. four of them still had antlers. on tuesday, i saw four more as a skied around. this morning, a big antlered bull was in the driveway. the moose have not settled in for the winter the way they have the past three winters. it has been so incredibly mild that they have not had to come down so far. i think the wolf pack may have something to do with their showing up in droves this week. (don’t tell the locals! – about the moose or the wolves!)

instead of dreaming of adventure, i am embracing it. i am getting out there, each day. alone, in the wild, with my dog and my bear spray, skiing in the tracks of the moose.

it is a time of being. not of growing, not of shedding, of just being.

a time of ‘just sitting right here and being happy for a minute’…okay guys?!

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