Lousy Quadratic Equations

Wyoming Winter – so lucky

La Madre started this post to hold me accountable to living out my dreams.
I dream of the ideal balance. I’m on a constant quest to find it.

Just when it seems within my reach, and I can feel it when I stretch to my tippy-toes…the variables shift and change. I’m left like a lump of a quadratic equation problem that I left as unfinished homework because it seemed to keep changing and I lost interest in keeping up with it.

I do that.
Or I did that.
Often.

Leave assignments undone when I thought they were stupid time wasters. Solving quadratic equations was something I never wanted to “master”. I was happy to achieve a level of competence, and spend the rest of my time doing something that felt important to me.  Or changed the assignment just enough so that it matched my vision.

If it matched my vision, I could go to town! 4.0 work yo…that’s how I roll.
Hook me up with a team committed to the same – boo ya! Look out States – Here We Come!

However, if it were just for the sake of doing it, and I had no stake…might as well be that forlorn little equation peering up through 7-layers of eraser smudges only to be deserted and abandoned.

I often wondered why there was a category on elementary school report cards for “MAKES GOOD USE OF TIME”.  never got its relevance. I did think it was weird to think that someone was assessing that, spying on me when I was done with all the things I had to do. In what I thought was “my time”.  Actually, if anything, it made me use my time even more judiciously once I thought someone may be paying attention to how I chose to spend it.

I always scored high on MAKES GOOD USE OF TIME, not just competency, MASTERY.

It’s how I know that I’ll get this balanced.

And I will. La Madre is doing her part. Daddio is doing his part to. We’re getting worked out.

Since returning from the east in Mid-January I have:

had the great fortune to snowshoe up some steep hills and mountains with some incredible friends. Snowboard for 2-days at Teton Village. Cross-country ski on several occasions, alone, with Birch, and with Daddio and Critter (and always with Sprout). Gone to yoga class at least once per week. Developed more of a home yoga practice for when I’m home alone and Critter is napping. Hung almost daily from an inversion table. Gone for several strolls up and down the hills in the BadLands. I’ve been on both bikes too – just neighborhood trips, but pedaling around a little bit.

had a terrific visit with friends who-knew-me-then.  Cooked some perfect meals, ate  them with friends, and Critter joined us at the table too. Gave up caffeine. Watched Jeopardy almost daily (thanks, Frank!) Received some Bountiful Baskets. Had WinterFest. Seen some beautiful winter sunrises. Chilled in bed with Birch. Watched a ton of Burn Notice (who saw that coming!) Read a book (thanks, Judy!)

watched Critter learn to crawl. Crept in to Critter’s room each morning to be received with flapping arms and legs. Carried Critter up Two-Ocean, carried Critter X-Country skiing, carried Critter round town. Mushed up Critter’s food with the Ninja and stored it in the Baby Bullet (thanks, Mooch!). Read Critter some books with Daddio every night, and laid her on her sheepskin.

had the new experience of morning sickness…that often lasts throughout the day. Had extreme fatigue and slept much longer than usual. Saw Sprout with Critter and Daddio on the little monitor. Heard Sprout’s heartbeat. Chose Sprout’s Birthday.

talked with Daddio.  Lots to talk about these days.

nourished Sprout…who nourished me back.

Looking back on the month, I feel like I MADE GOOD USE OF TIME.

Today I did nothing physical. I’ll most likely have 30 minutes at least to stretch in front of the wood stove before Daddio returns from his hike. I went for  a really fantastic ski with all of Team Neidens yesterday…all six of us.  It was great fun. I look forward to more. I’m a tad sore today, so no huge deal that I did not get to go out. Heading out for an early am ski. On the new skis that have been sitting in my living room for over a week now and I haven’t tried them out yet (thanks, Weav!).

Initially I thought this was to help me to get my act together and follow through with my activities. I reckon its more just a way to help me process the variables to get the balance back in my reach again.

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