When the word spread that Devlin was incubating, Crit was a wee little 6-months young.
I had certainly said more than a time or two, that if we were going to have a family that i’d prefer to “just knock-it-out”…although i’m certain i was not thinking about getting pregnant just 6 months in.
The comments were often the same: this-and-that about how hard it was going to be. how little sleep i was going to get. how the first two years are absolutely insane. how you may lose yourself. how it is all consuming. how your body will feel. how blissful some moments are.how i needed to conserve my energy to get through the days. how it goes by too quickly. how as soon as you figure it out, it’ll change. how you’ll appreciate your mother in a whole new light. how “worth it” it is. how it’ll change your mairrage. how incredible the journey is…
all good intentioned advise. some probably accurate(ish). though, there are only 3 pieces of wisdom that were shared with me,that i cling to tightly.
1. The days are long, but the years are short.
Nancy told me this. i believe it. sometimes, moments seem longer than days. but i know this. and i come back to it all the time. THIS is temoporary. THIS will pass. THIS will help refine me. THIS is practicing grace. this is practiicng everything. this is performance all day every day. this is preparing me to ride my bike from Canada to Mexico. without living THIS, i could never believe i could tackle THAT.
2. It will get a whole lot easier once they are 2.
Keith and Betsy said that. I don’t know if I were pregnant with Devlin at the time, or if he were a newbie…but i do remember knowing that 2 years from that moment seemed like it would take FOREVER. and it did. and it didn’t. As we approach that 2 year star i’ve been hanging my dreams on, i find myself anxious. we were in it so intensley, intimately together, for 3 solid years. everyone has grown an incredible amount. everyone is stronger than ever before.
I can erect a small village made of the eggs i’ve put into the basket labeled “2 Years”. I reckon i’ve viewed that not as a light at the end of the tunnel, rather a beacon shining along the path. Devlin turns 2 on August 29. I just commited to working full-time plus for all of August. I’m 2 week in and it feels incredibly fabulous! My first bike race is August 31. I will take a Personal Trainer and Health Coach exam in late September. start yoga teacher training in October. SPIN instructor certification in November. Hardscrabble is launching this fall.
3. You just love them and give them lots of kisses and hugs. There is no such thing as too many kisses and hugs.
Nanny Nell told me this. Just a few days after Crit’s arrival. and it helps to remember to know this. when Crit has full-blown hysterics every night for a few weeks straight, and i’ve tried every strategy i know about, and i’m not helping her, it feels good to remember that all i really have to do is hug her and kiss her and eskimo kiss her and butterfly kiss her and high five her and knuckes her, and elbows her…in no particular order. When Devlin is a month away from 2, and still squawks for everything. When, despite my efforts, i’m not helping him develop his speech, it feels great to remember that i’m simply in charge of kiss attacks, and hugs pat-pat-pat, and sandcrab hands.
Although i thought i had some experitse in behavior management and goal-oriented achievement; i have had to learn that hat doesn’t fit inside my home. It feels more graceful to accept that. My job here is to love them and hug them and kiss them… and to feed them nourishing food.
2 years is a few weeks away. not the first hump, but the highest one so far. i cannot wait to see what the other side looks like once i summit the hump.