Belly Breath and Calm Down

As winter swallowed up fall, i wrote about Hardscrabble’s propencety to consistently stack the deck against herself…a tender balance of circumstance and sabotage.

After a season of wintering at the Moose Willow, I have a clearer prospective on her vision.

No matter where in the universe we landed, the routine of life with a 2 and 3 year old is basically the same. (i value facebook for providing evidence of that to us out here on the Frontier)

Hardscrabble knew if i came here i would grow too. right alongside those wee peeps, and DW (currently referring to himself as “Deep-In-the-Jungle-Woods” as he is off in Belize for 2 weeks)

Hardscrabble kicked La Madre out once she realized all her limitations. La Madre was ABSOLUTELY necessary during pregnancies, the magical world of newbornness, the recoveries, the acceptance, the surrender.

La Madre was the exhale. the sweet-to-yourself. the gently-move-into-that-space-you-just-created. the letting go.

Hardscrabble is the inhale. the power. the strength. the ascent. the-bring-it-in-and-cultivate. the drive.

La Madre is the exhale.confidant. peaceful. capable of great integrity.

Harscrabble is the inhale. energy. lift. elevation. access….

and on and on it goes…

Liquid Bliss is forming. grace is on its way. i get fleeting tastes of it now and then. and it fits nicely. but still seems out-of-my-league.

Liquid Bliss will wear luxury well. but it is still not her turn.

La Madre and Hardscrabble are no longer fighting for position. They are working it out. They had to.

and together, they turned an awful, miserable, disgusting time in the winter wilderness, into a celebration, an adventure, and certainly a memory.

Our most recent “Bottom Bracket” recap:

we made it to swim lessons in Lander on Wednesday by 9:30am. We were snowed in, without a windshield wiper on the plow truck, and the side by side wouldn’t start due to it being -27 degrees. it was 7:03am.

we were not falling victim to our week. that was our day to rise from the powder! and after days and days of throwing up and failing against the universe, we triumphed! and then the light at the end of the tunnel shined blindingly bright!

As i formulated the plan to save-the-day (Crit has given me zero credit by the by. She says Dad-o is the only day-saving-hero. i came inside the house to the two of them lying on the floor with their legs on the couch. I demanded to know why they weren’t putting their snowgear on as directed, as it was a mere -30ish outside.

Crit’s Response: “We are belly breathing and calming down. We don’t know how to solve the problem.”

and i responded: “perfect. keep doing that. that will be quite helpful in solving the problem. we’re forming a good team, homies! thanks for playing your strengths!”

and hardscrabble and la madre solved the problem. Found a windshield wiper, replaced it in -26 degrees, loaded up in the plow truck in full winter gear. packed with skis for everyone and boots, and the chariot, and snacks and water,  and poles. and bathing suits for swim lessons in Lander…1.5 hours away from town. and we had no idea how long it would take to get to town. or if we would. or if we made it to my truck, would it even start in the -20s…

I called Shank as we rolled out of Drifter Flats. He would have an americano waiting on the counter when i got to town.

and off to Lander. and first in the pool for the 9:30am class. Nobody but the Macaroni Piggies knowing how desparate we were to bust out of the funk we were miring in at the Moose Willow Ranch.

and it changed the game. we knew it would.

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