gulp.

i self-sabotaged my training in the desert. i realized it as i descended into Hanksville. i had no spare tube. or sealant. it was sitting in the front seat of my car. parked 30 miles away…in the opposite direction of the 35 miles i had yet to go.

whatevs. own it. let go of it. see how it plays out….

Leah met me at the entrance to Capitol Reef. we found a campsite along the river. in the sand. in the desert. where there are cactus allovertheplace.

we camped there for two nights. my bike rested in the shade of the trees.

we took a 10-mile hike along a shelf of miles and miles of petrified wood. incredible. never experienced anything quite like it before.

owed it all to the volunteer ranger at the Visitor’s Center who sniffed us out and took his time to suggest where we might best like to enjoy our day. he nailed it.

we returned to camp in time for dinner and an early fire. and then the rain came.

we retreated to our tents early.

i stretched and i wrote and i listened to the rain.

and the turkeys that surrounded us began gobbling in the late 4’s. i knew from Deep Wood’s tales of Alladin, that they would pipe down at sunrise.

they piped down and the sun peeped its head out and gave way to some clouds. i lied in the warm bag wondering what would make me make my mind to get up.

shortly after 6, the drizzle of the morning turned to rain. i popped myself right up and got raring to go. packed my stuff up swiftly. gobbled up a couple things. threw some stuff in Leah’s rental car, put on my “rain gear” (i HATE wearing rain gear – i’d rather be wet and get-dry than try to trick myself into believing that raingear works.)

i turned the devices on (although i had no way of knowing if i were using them appropriately of not) and attached them to my bike. and i noticed….

my extremely flat tire.

and the self-sabotage came knocking at the door.” yo! ‘member me? i’m your eff ups. just checking in. you cool? you got everything together to race your bike from Canada to Mexico? like i said, just checking in…”

so i played an entire battle out with all of my self for the next 3 hours. i was already packed up in the rain. psyched and ready to pedal with my head-down. feeling grateful to practice in the warmish rain of the desert than the freezing slush of the Absaroka Valley. and instead i was standing in the rain with my m. effing yellow slicker RAINGEAR on.

razza-ma-frazzamma…

i made coffee. i took it for a walk down to the river. it made it better.

i came back to camp and started a little fire. it made it better too.

then i rolled out my TravelYogaMat, which looks like its title, and began to breath. and move. and it made it better most of all.

i’ve been practicing this “new move” i recently learned, the weekend of Mungbean’s shower. “Birds of Paradise” i believe it is called. i only go for it if i give myself adequate time to prepare. and that may be one or two times per week.

i got to it everyday on my desert vacation. i sure do appreciate that kind of time!!!!

i was wrapping up my session when Leah (who heard my small ruckus at 6:30 and knew of my self-inflicted suffering) popped her head out of the tent ’round 9:20am.

all morning i had it playing out that Leah would have to drive me back to my car, and then i would drive it back to our campsite to pick up my bike, before turning around to head home. an irrelevant 130 miles in a vehicle.

she said we could fit the bike. i doubted. she said we should certainly try. i was on it.

it fit. we finalized our check-in during the 65 miles back to my car.

i hightailed it outta there. headed north. the skies were all cloudy and i just wanted to cut my losses. i wanted a Bubble Day at home.

i let Ami know i’d be in Lander ’bout 8:15, if she could meet for a beer? (ami doesn’t drink beer) and she could. and we did. and i’m grateful. all the time. for Ami.

and i rolled into the Moose Willow round 11:30pm. at 11:43pm, the Squawking Buffalo rolled out into the mudroom screaming for Daddo with PJs soaked in pee. and i happily swooped in. and managed-the-crisis…solved-the-problem….with a little extra love…with extended patience…with the appropriate dose of empathy.

How am i training?

i reckon it is the stay-at-home-mommo version of Fartlek. when you i see a chance or an opportunity – shoot for it – immediately.

DeepWoods came in the other day after work and gave me 5-minutes to get my stuff together and out the door. nailed it and had a wonderful evening ride up past the ROAD CLOSED gate.

followed the tracks of one lone wolf and one lone moose. it’s harder to come up with a story in the spring than it is in the winter….

i’m going to be ready(…ier).